How to deal with your twenties?

You stepped into the age of 20s, you are just done with your teenage. You constantly feel that people don’t understand you, and even worse that they don’t try to understand you as they don’t want to accept you. You feel the constant need of being heard, understood, and accepted for what you are and what you are becoming.

This age is the age of growth of your cognitive processes. This age is the age of shaping your personality. The way you think and feel things. And you start exploring the world, creating your own and even question the usual norms. You want to define your own right and wrong.

And once you are done then you look around for acceptance. As a natural instinct you want to find similar people. Your community.

Instead you find that others are still busy in figuring out their own normal. And then, you are misunderstood, and uncalled for. Sorry. You look fine but deep inside you are broken.

First thing you do – you adapt to what’s around (survival of the fittest). You are good at it. You are happy, you now have friends and may be even boyfriend/girlfriend. You are happy that you have people who care for you, support and understand you.

But soon they leave. You know why? Because they didn’t like you in first place, and you both were lying. And in this process, you forget that your own personality is under threat.

Stop lying. Stop imitating/adapting to the world around you. World will never understand you.

Be who you are. Own your energy. If you will be who you really are, first you will be alone. That’s the hard truth.

But slowly your own people will find way towards you. They always do. Because your friends, your people – should support you, your friends should inspire you. Your circle should be well rounded.  Keep those who try. Keep those who stick around and embrace your uniqueness. Keep those who are happy for you, who support you. You will find your Monika/Ross/Joey/Chandler/Rachel/Phoebe.

Keep it tight, but not closed.

Keep it open, because remember one day when you were trying hard to be accepted by the world, you were left alone. Just try, make an effort to understand those left behind. As, you are not alone.

And you know you are strong. You have survived. Your kindness will make the world a better place. Always.

Oh, dear lover.

Dear Lover,

We’ve been to places.

We’ve seen so many faces.

But you look like home to me.

All you need is me.

All I need is you.

The time goes slower as we walk together.

The moonlight within. The sunshine around.

There is something deep.

There is something more.

Just stay. Closer.

The smile on our faces. The tickle in our hearts.

The little happiness of ours.

Makes me wonder where have you been, all this time.

I’ve been waiting for you all the way along.

And now there’s this string, which you have hooked on me around.

And now all that matters is I have you.

And all that matters is you have me.

Just stay. Closer.

Hey guys if you like this piece, let me know your thoughts. 🙂 And if someone wants to sing, sing along!

3 Golden Rules to Accomplish Goals Successfully

Have you ever thought about  what you would do five years down the line? Or did you have any new year resolutions? And what happened to your gym membership? Did you finish the online course you enrolled in on coursera? What about your GMAT preparation?

No? Or may be yes.

We all set goals. But hardly find the right time and energy to fulfill them in proposed duration and expected performance. Think about it. You need to set goals in a more proper way in order to accomplish them. To accomplish your goals, however, you need to know how to set them. You can’t simply say, “I want” and expect it to happen. Goal setting is a process that starts with careful consideration of what you want to achieve, and ends with a lot of hard work to actually do it.

I present you the 3 Golden rules of effective goal setting:

1. Find your motivation
   
   
   • When you set goals for yourself, make sure motivate you and there is value in achieving them. If you have great interest in the outcome, then you’ll work hard to make them happen. Motivation is key to achieving goals.
   • You should set goals that relate to the high priorities in your life. You need focus and only few goals with enough time to devote to each one. You must have an “I must do this” attitude. When you have this, you do anything to make the goal a reality.
2. Set SMART Goals
   • Goals must be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time Bound
   • You must clearly define your goals. Don’t just say be a good basketball player. Design a plan for this involving the training and activities you will be involved in throughout that month.
   • Set goals, which you can measure like complete 5 chapters in one week. Don’t just target Study chemistry. Have a number in mind.
   • Make sure it is possible for you to accomplish the goal. Don’t set impossible targets. Like lose 10 pounds in a week. C’mon don’t be silly.
   • Set goals relevant to you, your career, your personality. Goals must have a direction. Meaningless goals take you no where but keeps you wasting time.
   • Always target goals with a time frame. Read 2 novels per month, or read newspaper every morning. Don’t just vaguely say you want to improve your reading skills.
3. Track progress
   
   • What is important to goal accomplishment is you should be able to track your goals.
   • Every night, before sleeping, you should think about what you did today and what do you have to complete by tomorrow. This will increase your productivity by 10x.
   • Also, if the time period of your goal is an year, divide it into sprints. Each month track overall progress and note it down on a paper and stick on your table/cupboard. This will give a larger picture of you attaining the goal in right time. And this will further motivate you.

Pro Tip:

Last but not the least, you must celebrate your progress. Don’t take it as an arduous climb, but as fun journey full of learning and experience. This is really important for future goals. And helps you not flip back and lose all your progress. For example, consider you were 200 pounds. You did weight training and strictly followed a diet for an year and lost 50 pounds. But inside you are sad, frustrated, so one day when you are feeling real low, you end up eating so much that from that day on wards you give up.

You don’t want that, do you? So you must have cheat meals once every month. Similarly, you must celebrate your progress in some way to be successful in big picture.

Wish you all the best, go ahead and seize the day!

P.S. I am there to talk if you want to discuss anything. Feel free to drop a mail at garimagupta76@gmail.com

Is there more to life than just being happy

They say all what matters in life is happiness. You need not worry too much about the future and live in the present and be happy instead.

Happy Happy Happy. It is easy to say than to be in reality. So what is happiness?

The oxford dictionary says Happiness is the feeling you have when things give you pleasure and can be quite a lively feeling; contentment is a quieter feeling that you get when you have learned to find pleasure in things.

In philosophy, happiness is translated from the Greek concept of eudaimonia, and refers to the good life, or flourishing, as opposed to an emotion.

In psychology, happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being which can be defined by, among others, positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. Happy mental states may reflect judgements by a person about their overall well-being.

Wikipedia says, since the 1960s, happiness research has been conducted in a wide variety of scientific disciplines, including gerontology, social psychology, clinical and medical research and happiness economics.

I didn’t know that happiness was a matter of research in itself which is being studied for ages.

Now, it means, each day every human is striving towards a happier life. This actually creates a scenario where the person is not content with the present life and hoping for a better future and telling himself that “I am fine, I am okay, I am happy.”

Life is not just about being happy. Life is about learning, about being agile. World is changing everyday and one needs to adapt to it. And not being concerned about being happy, and not thinking too much but being focused towards goals and responsibilities is what life is about.

Say I love cooking. I have a family of 4. I have a job. I cook everyday for my husband, my kids and me. And I feel it like a job. What if I start enjoying it and start preparing meals with more happiness. But does it matter, will the food taste better if I cook it being happy or I cook being normal like I am doing my job. That’s a mystery to me.

If you’ll look for happiness, you’ll end being sadder instead. Because now you’ll focus on things which make you happy and if you don’t get that thing or fail at it, you’ll be sad. So why not just focus on life than looking forward being happy everyday.

I understand, it is very challenging. Everybody is looking for a better tomorrow. I think the best way is not to push yourself hard and not link your happiness with things or people. You have one life. I think laughter is the best solution. You may not be happy, you had a bad day, but you can always read a comic book or watch a comedy movie and feel good. Yes, feeling good should be the goal is life than being just happy.

I asked mom, “Are you happy?” She went into a deep thought and said she’s fine, she’s okay, she’s happy. And that one question I asked her triggered gloom and her entire life flash backed in front of her, where she compared reality with her hopes and dreams. And she must have felt a little less. This is the same question we ask ourselves everyday and end up being trapped in emotional stress of not accomplishing dreams.

 

It’s the want of happiness, which causes pain. The desire which never ends. God created happiness I think to create sadness. The trick is to feel good instead.

A couple of days later I asked my mom, “Are you good?” She said oh yes I am. And yes is good actually. So goodness is the key. Not thinking much, and focusing on whatever is going on, whatever is best for the body, mind and soul.

We are all good and will be good everyday.

Have a good day.

 

How I am helping my friend make a successful resume day #1

One of my juniors from college called me today to ask about how he should make his resume. Abhishek is two years younger to me. We are from the same school. Now he is my college. He is a bright student, but very lazy. He is in his third year of bachelors in engineering and it’s time he should be prepared with his CV or resume for applying for the summer internships.  However he has no idea about it.

I said, don’t worry, I’ll help you. He asked if I could show him my resume so he could make it accordingly. I said, “No, first you have to give it a try yourself. However I will tell you the basic things you need to keep in mind. Your resume will be in sections as follows:

1. Always start with your name and contact details
2. Then educational qualifications including your school, high school and college in a chronological order, that means the most recent qualification comes first
3. Now comes the internships, mention each with your role, company’s name, time period, followed by responsibilities and skills acquired
4. Now the section for academic projects and achievements
5. This will follow your extra curricular activities and achievements
6. Lastly include your hobbies and interests

Abhishek, don’t forget to add proper formatting to your resume. For the start, you could take the sample resume format Microsoft Word offers or create your own. It should go in an order and proper format”

He said it was a lot. So I gave him a day to come up with something. Then we could move on.

I am keeping in mind that his resume should be ready in a week. I am not revealing all the details and secrets to him at once because I want him to actually work on this and understand how resume building is an art, neither a cakewalk nor a mountain climb.

So this a 7 day challenge for us. I will share the progress each day with you guys.  Lets see how it goes, it better not be a boring task. He doesn’t know about this blog post, haha!

If you have anything in mind, any suggestions, you can share. Thank you for reading.

Why you don’t have to be sad anymore

I messaged one of my best friends on WhatsApp, Hey! Good morning… How are you.. And then she says she’s fine but couldn’t sleep well last night because of an urgent project delivery. Then I speak about how I woke up late, missed gym and skipped breakfast. We rant about how boring, hectic, and difficult our lives are.

Then our conversation takes a positive turn when we hope that everything will be alright, let’s just work hard and meet someday on weekend. And said goodbye.

But deep inside we both are really sad. We are waiting for something extraordinary happen to our lives.

Why are we sad, there’s no specific reason.. Just a perpetual gloom.

I realise, it’s just our attitude which makes us feel so. It’s our mind which is over thinking, nothing else. Our life is one of the most fortunate ones.

My mind doesn’t agree yet. Let me list down the positives and negatives.

1. We have a family which cares for us every single day.
2. We have a mother who gets up before us every day, prepares food and leaves for work.
3. We have a father who is often working off station but never misses a day when he asks if we reached home safe.
4. We have our grandparents who love us unconditionally.
5. We have loving siblings, cousins, and friends who make our life worth living.
6. We have good health, sound body.
7. We have been well educated. 
8. We have a stable job.
9. We live in a good city, with all facilities.
10. We are just 22. We are young and yet to discover many opportunities waiting for us. 
11. We have time, energy and freedom.

You might also have a special someone who cares a little extra for you 😛 If you don’t, you’ll find one day.

Ah, I think, I could go on and on. I’ve been such a fool. I’ve got everything.

Now, I was in metro train, going to office in the morning. I saw a woman, in late 20s. She had only two fingers in her each hand and feet. And still she was happy. It seemed like she was going to office too. And this gave me all courage to write this article and remember this day forever.

It is true. Our generation is blessed with all conveniences. Our parents and grandparents worked through hardships back then. To us, everything is available so easily. 

All we need to do is focus and be determined for our goal.

Now I promise, everyday I will thank God for this beautiful life and my family. You should too.

Don’t be sad unnecessarily. Be happy. Be normal. Be motivated. Life will come to you on its own.

I will share following mantra:

• Don’t think about negatives, only positives
• Be thankful for everything
• Utilise your time, never stop learning
• Value people in your life, you don’t know when one leaves
• Trust God, trust yourself
• Have patience and work for the best

Your life is already good. You are alive. You are blessed. Have a great day sunshine!

For those who are away from home

When I met you, I knew I was home.

You smelled like home. 

We sat, we ate, we talked, we laughed.

Days, months passed. We had the best time of our lives. 

Then you had to leave. It was important. I cried, oh badly I cried.

But I had faith, that you’ll be soon home. And then I’ll be soon home.

​Today I learnt it’s not always about lovestories between a girls and a boys.

So, what happened today. I woke up and was missing my grandmother. So I thought I should message her. I quickly opened my WhatsApp and search for her contact. To what I saw, I had tears in my eyes. She had put up my childhood’s picture as her display picture on WhatsApp. She never asks for anything, me, my time. But for her, I am still that four year old boy, waiting for his treat, whom she ran to and hugged so tight.

At the end of the day, home isn’t a place.  It is a feeling.

Home isn’t a set house, or a single dot on a map. Home isn’t a four walled space. 

It is wherever the people who loved you were, whenever you were together. It is where you’re safe, where you’re loved. 

It is where you find light when all grows dark.

Not a place, but a moment, and then another, building on each other like bricks to create a solid shelter that you take with you for your entire life, wherever you may go.

Some people are home today. Near, far, where ever. And we all are soon going to be home.

Skies, sun and you.

​I can see the sun you carry in your pocket for me. You try to hide it for a time, but it peeps back and lights my entire world. 

And our limitless love, shines across the million skies and calls for me.

Here I come, spiraling through the shadows, to clasp the beam of your soul. And then we dive together into the infinity of dreams and cosmos. 

Sunsets. Eclipses.

Endings can be beautiful too.

Do you love rains too?

​Yes, you love rains.

From the very first spell of rain, when the drizzle wets the mud, and the scent it leaves just soothes your soul and takes away the summer pain.

To the days when it’s raining well enough, and the sun itself is blushing, and you can feel the wind blowing the song of rain.

To the days when it’s pouring heavy and you finally want to look for your umbrella placed somewhere in your room and you feel the need for the weather to calm down again.

See, how well I know your love for rains.

Don’t fall in love with your friends

It’s so difficult to not to fall in love with your friends.

I used to think friendships become stronger over years. That the bond gets stronger one year at a time. But it’s not like that. It just happens. It might even happen on your first waffle together or just a walk.
I would say, be with people who invest in you, invest in your happiness. Sometimes being soulmates doesn’t mean that you get to marry each other, have babies and live a life together. There’s more to soulmates, even friends can be soulmates. When you know that you’ll be there for each other, no matter what. What else do you need. 

There’s nothing sweeter in this world than your friends calling your name, your friends who are proud to have you. And these are the best kind of people. When you’re having a bad day, just hangout with them, share a thought and feel loved and just okay. 

Truth is, so many people are in love and are not together and so many people are not in love and together. But, friendships sort all. It’s the parachute which helps you fall smoothly in love with your friends.

Life is like climbing. And in life there are peaks and valleys. Sometimes you’re at top and sometimes you get stuck in the valley. Love is a hope, a feeling that there’s no valley. Love can over power anything and can make you do unbelievable things.

Love is like wings of happiness, flying you through mountains of hope.

And when you’re in love with your friends, it’s like the ocean in a summer day, calm and relaxing, that’s how I feel. All the beautiful memories they add up to. 

So, go grab a cup of coffee in this chilly weather with them because it’s okay to fall in love with your best friends.

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