Tag Archives: family

Is there more to life than just being happy

They say all what matters in life is happiness. You need not worry too much about the future and live in the present and be happy instead.

Happy Happy Happy. It is easy to say than to be in reality. So what is happiness?

The oxford dictionary says Happiness is the feeling you have when things give you pleasure and can be quite a lively feeling; contentment is a quieter feeling that you get when you have learned to find pleasure in things.

In philosophy, happiness is translated from the Greek concept of eudaimonia, and refers to the good life, or flourishing, as opposed to an emotion.

In psychology, happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being which can be defined by, among others, positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. Happy mental states may reflect judgements by a person about their overall well-being.

Wikipedia says, since the 1960s, happiness research has been conducted in a wide variety of scientific disciplines, including gerontology, social psychology, clinical and medical research and happiness economics.

I didn’t know that happiness was a matter of research in itself which is being studied for ages.

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Now, it means, each day every human is striving towards a happier life. This actually creates a scenario where the person is not content with the present life and hoping for a better future and telling himself that “I am fine, I am okay, I am happy.”

Life is not just about being happy. Life is about learning, about being agile. World is changing everyday and one needs to adapt to it. And not being concerned about being happy, and not thinking too much but being focused towards goals and responsibilities is what life is about.

Say I love cooking. I have a family of 4. I have a job. I cook everyday for my husband, my kids and me. And I feel it like a job. What if I start enjoying it and start preparing meals with more happiness. But does it matter, will the food taste better if I cook it being happy or I cook being normal like I am doing my job. That’s a mystery to me.

If you’ll look for happiness, you’ll end being sadder instead. Because now you’ll focus on things which make you happy and if you don’t get that thing or fail at it, you’ll be sad. So why not just focus on life than looking forward being happy everyday.

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I understand, it is very challenging. Everybody is looking for a better tomorrow. I think the best way is not to push yourself hard and not link your happiness with things or people. You have one life. I think laughter is the best solution. You may not be happy, you had a bad day, but you can always read a comic book or watch a comedy movie and feel good. Yes, feeling good should be the goal is life than being just happy.

I asked mom, “Are you happy?” She went into a deep thought and said she’s fine, she’s okay, she’s happy. And that one question I asked her triggered gloom and her entire life flash backed in front of her, where she compared reality with her hopes and dreams. And she must have felt a little less. This is the same question we ask ourselves everyday and end up being trapped in emotional stress of not accomplishing dreams.

 

It’s the want of happiness, which causes pain. The desire which never ends. God created happiness I think to create sadness. The trick is to feel good instead.

A couple of days later I asked my mom, “Are you good?” She said oh yes I am. And yes is good actually. So goodness is the key. Not thinking much, and focusing on whatever is going on, whatever is best for the body, mind and soul.

We are all good and will be good everyday.

Have a good day.

 

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Why you don’t have to be sad anymore

I messaged one of my best friends on WhatsApp, Hey! Good morning… How are you.. And then she says she’s fine but couldn’t sleep well last night because of an urgent project delivery. Then I speak about how I woke up late, missed gym and skipped breakfast. We rant about how boring, hectic, and difficult our lives are.

Then our conversation takes a positive turn when we hope that everything will be alright, let’s just work hard and meet someday on weekend. And said goodbye.

But deep inside we both are really sad. We are waiting for something extraordinary happen to our lives.

Why are we sad, there’s no specific reason.. Just a perpetual gloom.

I realise, it’s just our attitude which makes us feel so. It’s our mind which is over thinking, nothing else. Our life is one of the most fortunate ones.

My mind doesn’t agree yet. Let me list down the positives and negatives.

  1. We have a family which cares for us every single day.
  2. We have a mother who gets up before us every day, prepares food and leaves for work.
  3. We have a father who is often working off station but never misses a day when he asks if we reached home safe.
  4. We have our grandparents who love us unconditionally.
  5. We have loving siblings, cousins, and friends who make our life worth living.
  6. We have good health, sound body.
  7. We have been well educated
  8. We have a stable job.
  9. We live in a good city, with all facilities.
  10. We are just 22. We are young and yet to discover many opportunities waiting for us. 
  11. We have time, energy and freedom.

You might also have a special someone who cares a little extra for you 😛 If you don’t, you’ll find one day.

    Ah, I think, I could go on and on. I’ve been such a fool. I’ve got everything.

    Now, I was in metro train, going to office in the morning. I saw a woman, in late 20s. She had only two fingers in her each hand and feet. And still she was happy. It seemed like she was going to office too. And this gave me all courage to write this article and remember this day forever.

    It is true. Our generation is blessed with all conveniences. Our parents and grandparents worked through hardships back then. To us, everything is available so easily. 

    All we need to do is focus and be determined for our goal.

    Now I promise, everyday I will thank God for this beautiful life and my family. You should too.

    Don’t be sad unnecessarily. Be happy. Be normal. Be motivated. Life will come to you on its own.

    I will share following mantra:

    • Don’t think about negatives, only positives
    • Be thankful for everything
    • Utilise your time, never stop learning
    • Value people in your life, you don’t know when one leaves
    • Trust God, trust yourself
    • Have patience and work for the best

    Your life is already good. You are alive. You are blessed. Have a great day sunshine!

    For those who are away from home

    When I met you, I knew I was home.

    You smelled like home. 

    We sat, we ate, we talked, we laughed.

    Days, months passed. We had the best time of our lives. 

    Then you had to leave. It was important. I cried, oh badly I cried.

    But I had faith, that you’ll be soon home. And then I’ll be soon home.

    ​Today I learnt it’s not always about lovestories between a girls and a boys.

    So, what happened today. I woke up and was missing my grandmother. So I thought I should message her. I quickly opened my WhatsApp and search for her contact. To what I saw, I had tears in my eyes. She had put up my childhood’s picture as her display picture on WhatsApp. She never asks for anything, me, my time. But for her, I am still that four year old boy, waiting for his treat, whom she ran to and hugged so tight.

    At the end of the day, home isn’t a place.  It is a feeling.

    Home isn’t a set house, or a single dot on a map. Home isn’t a four walled space. 

    It is wherever the people who loved you were, whenever you were together. It is where you’re safe, where you’re loved. 

    It is where you find light when all grows dark.

    Not a place, but a moment, and then another, building on each other like bricks to create a solid shelter that you take with you for your entire life, wherever you may go.

    Some people are home today. Near, far, where ever. And we all are soon going to be home.

    The Kite Runner 

    Once I was about to leave for college in the morning and my dad suddenly walked up to me and said, Baby don’t do anything wrong that would tarnish the reputation of the family. I was shocked. I smiled and shook my head and left for my classes. 

    Some people have a very friendly relationship with their parents. Mine is not such a case. My parents are not strict on the outside but one thing is sure that they mean what they say. They are sometimes friendly, sometimes very formal. My mother often takes a sarcastic note on my behaviour.

    Also, they don’t tell me what to do and what not to do like typical parents do. They expect me to understand the situation and do the right thing on myself.

    You can fly as high as you want.

    But remember that a flying kite is always bound by its threads. 

    Your parents, who gave you wings and set you free so that you can achieve the sky

    And at the same time they keep you safe from the storm.

    Never forget your roots. 

     

    Growing up came quickly. 

    This year my friends and I had planned a night out outside main city. It was the first time I really wanted to go outside city with friends and chill. So, I told my parents that I have to attend an event in college which will extend overnight and I’ll stay in hostel. 

    They said, yes. I was amused that they believed on my cooked up story. So, when we actually went for the trip, it went well. We had fun and we were safe. Nothing unusual happened except the fact that I was really guilty that my parents trust me so much and I lied to them for such a stupid one day get away with friends. 

    The cute fact is when I returned home tired, they asked me how the event went and dad worried that I couldn’t sleep well in the hostel. Oh my God. I swear that I felt moment that these guys love me so much and I’m doing all this.

    This incident made me realise the importance I have in their lives and they are in mine.

    And you’re not supposed to look back.

    You’re supposed to be keep going. 

    So, forget whatever mishaps you did. 

    Your parents will always hold your kite and never let go of it. 

    Sometimes you may feel that the thread is broken, 

    but no there might be some bends, 

    but the thread can never break. 

    Family is not a special thing. Family is everything. Family is going to love you no matter how you are, what you do, what you wear, how you speak. Family never judges you. 

    Make your parents feel your presence. They will forget what you said, what you did but they will never forget how you made them feel.

    Money can’t buy happiness, but the moments you spend with them, will. 

    When someone says they are busy, you should know how it works. One always has a choice and you’re not a priority. Don’t make your parents feel neglected. 

    Home is a feeling.

    Spend time with grandparents to get their wisdom. Spend time with kids to learn to take life less seriously and being happy without any reason. 

    If your parents had bad day at work, try to give a little extra happiness to them. Be the ocean. Giving away drops won’t change the ocean.
    Finally I’d like to share what I learnt from my parents, they are very simple people. They never spend a penny on themselves but ensure that their kids get the best opportunities and never feel less. 

    Never regret being yourself. Because if you’re truly you then one day people are going to wish they were you.

    Yeah, so you already know which people are more important. Once you start staying close to right people, the wrong one will go away. And believe me, whatever you do, your parents will never disown you.

    Let’s give 2017 a fresh start. Welcome home. 🙂