Tag Archives: communication

Have you ever heard silence?

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about.”
― Rumi said.

“Have you ever heard the wonderful silence just before the dawn?
Or the quiet and calm just as a storm ends?
Or perhaps you know the silence when you haven’t the answer to a question you’ve been asked,
Or the hush of a country road at night,
Or the expectant pause of a room full of people when someone is just about to speak,
Or, most beautiful of all, the moment after the door closes and you’re alone in the whole house?

Each one is different, you know, and all very beautiful if you listen carefully.”

Lately I’ve begun to realize that one can listen to silence and learn from it. It has a quality and a dimension of it’s own.
When words are empty, equations doesn’t matter anymore. But it’s always difficult to keep shut or use the right amount of words.

  • First theory.

    The biggest challenge after success is shutting up about it. There are two secrets to success, one choose your words wisely, second I won’t tell you. Successful people tend to speak the right amount of words required, for only people intelligent enough can identify what’s relevant to be said and what’s not. Giving more information is not only harmful but might communicate a wrong idea.

    Say, if I’m chatting too much with my boss, he might think I’m interested in him beyond work. Or a cheesy salesperson may blabber out too much information, in a way nagging out the customer.

    Also in relationships, it’s important to understand the other person’s silence more than only words. Sometimes, in the middle of a disagreement with her husband or to avoid one, she’ll call time out. If she don’t pause long enough for a walk or a sitting meditation to reflect on what’s really going on, she’s likely to keep blundering with hurtful speech. In silence one has a chance to cool down, assess the situation, examine one’s own motivations, and consider what words will help heal the rift.

  • Second Theory.

    Speech pauses are the finest tricks of oratory since time immemorial. And the If you do it right, nobody is conscious of your pauses, but your ideas are more persuasively delivered. As white spaces add breathe to a paper full of words, speech pauses are necessary for verbal communication.

    For example:

    We were married ten years ago [pause] I still remember my first look at her coming up the aisle.Speech pause is an excellent way of delivering emotions. Isn’t it?

  • There’s another theory.

    Would you find it uncomfortable to go on a date and sit in silence for an hour because you had only recently met your companion? What would you think if after returning home from several months’ absence your parents and relative didn’t speak to you for several days? Can you imagine working on a four-person cattle crew for several days without being introduced to or speaking with one of the other members, who you did not know?

    Although these situations seem unusual to us, they are considered appropriate among the Apache. Although it seems natural to us that when people first meet introductions are in order and that when friends and relative reunite greeting and catching up will immediately follow, this is not the case for all cultures. There’s a study which investigates certain aspects of silence in the culture of the Western Apache of east-central Arizona.It is not the case that a man who is silent says nothing. – the Apache culture believes.

  • Finally I’d like to highlight the importance silence holds, spiritually. Silence soothes the harried soul.

    Maybe because I can talk up a storm, I love, even crave, silence. I feel safe in it. I know I won’t blurt out something foolish or harmful, something I’ll be sorry for. She said.

    It is in the womb of silence that we can grow ideas for the best course of action to take. They say it helps us use our personal resources judiciously. Talking expends energy and takes up time. One requires to identify inner knowledge one has, rather than looking for places to go for. The way in is through inside.


You can surely fool people by your words, but not by your silence. In fact, silent is one’s loudest cry.

IT’S TIME TO GIVE UP WORDS AND HEAR SILENCE.

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Yawning connections.

“Everyone wants to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”
~Oprah Winfrey

Someone told me do blogging as an when you feel like doing nothing. But I would rather say I write when I feel something, and want to express those feelings. So here am I. Today as  I woke up, a thought struck my mind, who are FRIENDS, what is FRIENDSHIP. Then as strolled through the park, I fabricated the whole idea.

First of all, let’s look at facts. According to Oxford Dictionary we have it as “A person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of family relations”. Then they have taken the definition into sub-points as

  • an acquaintance or a stranger one comes across
  • One’s close relatives.
  • A person who supports a cause, organization, or country by giving financial or other help
  • A person who is not an enemy or opponent; an ally
  • familiar or helpful thing
  • A contact on a social networking website

Okay, so a simple word has these complex attributes. Let me explain it my way. If we look on general terms a  friend is someone who is a well-wisher, always there for you, not a friend for mere sake of any benefit. But you’ll hardly find a person with all these attributes. So, we take it okay and are contended with what we have. Let me make a generalized statement for myself, “I am always in good terms with my friends, a healthy relationship.” Yes. I am, because I offer more expect less. But friendship is never like that dear readers. It has to be a two-way channel.

Talking more about the relationships I have. Firstly with my parents. Umm.. no I don’t want to discuss it right now,may be some day later. It’s a little hard to explain here. Let me tell you about some other kinds of friends I have met. It’s been an year, I have left High-school, but I still don’t mind dropping an Hi! to those friends occasionally for their know-how, although I was not in much close to them in school. But I don’t find that kind of enthusiasm from anyone else’s side. I mean they hardly feel the need to reciprocate the exercise I follow.
Ultimately you lose friends when you move over from one place.  You have to move on.

I am telling you by the time one reaches college, if one’s active enough into the varied activities, their college is bustling with, one can make many friends. But again I end up with a question Are those folks really my good  friends I can rely upon wholly ? I really don’t know. Sorry, I do know. They aren’t. Okay forget that. Let’s ponder upon the phrase  Best-friends. I have no idea. I have got none. Don’t be surprised. Yes, I do  have some good  friends but  I still don’t know whether to call them best-friends.

“The only way to have a friend is to be one.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

The truth is one day every individual you call a friend will leave. They can’t be there forever. As time passes, people change and we make new friends. But as I told you about my behavior, I am  a kind of good-girl. Haha, I am serious. I still have room for all those souls I have met in life, I remember the memories with them, I try to keep in touch and that’s enough for me. I consider every other soul I pass by as a friend, classmates, elders, relatives, teachers, seniors, neighbors, co-workers. Anyone. There’s an old couple who live near by. They are very sweet. I love to hear their stories, about their children and grandchildren. May be I can call them friends too.

I don’t express everything to someone I would like being friends with but at the moment is not a friend. I rather prefer to listen. My friends, all what I have, say that’s where I lag behind. I should speak more to people. I do speak but I want them to first listen, listen to the voice of soul, what I want to tell them.I might not say a thousand words. But I would make you feel even littlest of thoughts and I wish you to reciprocate the same. If you can,then you are connection. If you can’t, then I can’t help it.

Remember, there’s always a reason when you meet people, may be you find your new connections or discover the best ones. Eventually one and all of your relationships will fall into yawing connections. So never  forget the yawning ones, because one day they were the best you had.

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